Some of you will know already, some of you think you know and some of you couldn't give two hoots as you have bigger fish to fry but I’ve started so I’ll finish - it’s nude. And by that I mean the colour nude, not go nude (though, who am I to tell you whether you should go commando or not but I imagine the seams of your jeans may not sit so comfortable on your 'delicates' without a pair of knick-knacks on - just saying!)
There are still a lot of women who think that white under white (whether it be knickers or a bra), is the right choice. And although it’s not as obvious as black under white (or some illuminous horror), it’s still actually very visible which can detract from an otherwise, classy and well put together outfit.
To illustrate this, I looked for some pictures on the internet and no matter how I phrased my search, I still got results that were, how shall I say it, wrong. Wrong in the right way and wrong in very much the ‘wrong’ way. So, I decided that I would create my own pictures using my own bum, trousers and knickers. Simples! (She says).
So, armed with one pair of white trousers and 3 pairs of different coloured knickers, I asked my usually willing 9 YO son to take the photos. He was having none of it! I then offered to pay (bribe) him. At this point, I’m leaning over the bannister, shouting down the stairs (with a sore throat) sounding like an old fishwife, pleading with him to take the photos. He’s screaming back at me, “there’s no way you’re paying me to take pictures of your butt!”. I hope the neighbours didn’t hear but I could see his point. Anyway, he finally caved in and agreed to take the shots but under no circumstances was I to pay him for such an act – that was a step too far in his book.
And here are the results. Granted, when wearing a thong, there’s not much pant to show through, but still enough to look naff.
Now, I would always suggest a thong under trousers as it generally rules out VPL but if you prefer a full pant to give your bottom a smoother finish or some support, always opt for the no VPL option as even bulky seams on a nude pant can give you VPL. Debenhams have some good choices available in various styles.
My ‘nude’ thong is the generic and ubiquitous shade that you can find in most stores and luckily, it suits my pale skin.
But what if you have darker or black skin? Good question. So, I started another internet search with, yet again, not hugely successful results. I momentarily got excited when I stumbled upon a great article on how Marks & Spencer had done extensive research and had launched a range of nude underwear called ‘nearly nude’ available in 4 shades to cater for black skin through to skin paler than mine. The article was dated 2011 and from what I can see, M&S no longer stock it. Shame.
So, why don’t more shops stock nude shades to cater for darker skin tones I wonder? Perhaps you have darker skin and have found a great source of underwear that matches your skin-tone or perhaps discovered that other colours work for you under lighter coloured clothing? If you have, I’d love to hear from you.
But, right now, I must go and spend some time with my son and assure him his childhood is perfectly healthy and that occasions like today will only serve to help him evolve into a fully rounded and functional adult *fingers crossed behind back*.
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