Back in June, a friend of mine suggested that I write a blog on how to dress if you are a fat bottomed girl. She has a fat bottom (she said it, not me!), a wedding to go to in September and is having an outfit crisis. So, thinking she can’t be the only lady out there having a booty induced hissy fit, here are some tips on how to dress that derriere.
The body-shapes that are most likely to have an ample bottom are the Pear, the Hourglass and the Round.
So, what shape are you?
- Small on top with narrow shoulders
- More than likely a small bust
- Slim waist
- Larger hips, thighs and bottom
- Think J-Lo
Show off your waist
And by that I don’t mean in a cropped-top flesh bearing way (unless you’re under 25 and have a midriff as buff as a buff-like thing), I mean in a silhouette kind of way. Choose styles that emphasise your waist and put stylish, narrow belts to good use. It’s the slimmest part of your body and so if you hide it under baggy tops, you will actually make yourself look larger.
Restrict bold patterns and lighter colours to the top half only. Wearing them on your bottom half will make it appear bigger.
The best thing we can do for the Pear shape is to balance out the top and bottom half. So, wear capped, fuller sleeves or shoulder pads (get that image of Sue Ellen out of your head right now!) as these ‘tricks’ will add width to your top half giving you a more balanced shape. The added bonus of shoulder pads for a Pear is that if you have small, sloping shoulders, your handbag is more likely to stay on your shoulder! Tops can be tucked in or you can choose semi fitted tops that finish at the right length if you don’t do the tucking in thang!
Avoid side pockets that will gape creating the ‘frog mouth’ effect as this will add bulk where you don’t need it. Same applies to back pockets with flaps – so avoid them too.
Wider legged trousers that fall from the hip are very flattering for a Pear shape and can look extremely elegant – just make sure they are as flat-fronted as possible. Wear them with heels and make like Katherine Hepburn!
Go for A line, full or panelled skirts and as per the trouser rule, avoid side and back pockets.
Dresses can be tricky depending on the size difference between your top half and bottom half but there are some great styles out there that incorporate a patterned top and/or capped sleeve that are perfect for the Pear shape. Another great dress for you Pears is the 1950’s style - a wedding disco and this dress go together like Rama-lama-lama-ka-dinga-da-dinga-dong!
Or maybe you’re an Hourglass?
- Shoulders and hips are balanced
- Defined waist
- Curvy bottom
- And more than likely a fuller bust
- Think Marilyn Monroe
Show off your waist
As is the same for the Pear shape, show off that waist at all times - if I had one, I most certainly would.
You can wear pattern but go easy with it – let your body shape speak for itself and avoid anything too loud. Avoid vertical lines and geometric patterns over your curves – it will get very confusing and you’ll end up looking like one of those magic eye pictures.
As you have a balanced figure, no need to ‘big up’ your shoulders as the Pears need to do but do choose your necklines carefully so that you flatter your fuller bust. Remember to show some skin and opt for a v, scoop, square neck or wrap top - wearing a high neck top will make your boobs, and you in general, look bigger. Like the Pear you can tuck tops in if you want to.
The book I’m reading at the moment is called ‘How to Be Chic & Elegant’ which is written by a stylish French woman (aren’t they all stylish?) called Marie-Anne Lecoeur, who says that those with an Hourglass figure should ditch the trousers altogether and stick with skirts and dresses! I’ll leave that decision to you but if you do enjoy wearing trousers opt for side zipped or flat fronted ones and again, avoid the frog mouthed effect, and pockets on the bum as mentioned earlier.
Go for A line, panelled or pencil skirts. The Hourglass will find it hard to find skirts (and trousers) that fit well because they will more than likely fit on the bum but be too big on the waist or fit on the waist and be too small on the bum. It’s not easy having a sexy shape is it?! So, look for styles without a waistband and/or that sit lower down on your hips. And avoid side pockets and bum pockets (I’ve said that so many times now – use it as your mantra!).
Just make sure you choose a style that has shape at the waist and a lower neckline as per the guideline for tops. Pop on some elegant heels and give it some Jessica Rabbit swagger - you sexy thing you!
Oh, and one thing I must mention as it will save you a lot of faff and heartache - dieting will NOT change a Pear or Hourglass shape into anything other than a smaller Pear or Hourglass shape. If you’re a size 16 Pear who goes on a diet, the end result will be just a smaller size Pear. So, embrace the shape you are and wear clothes that flatter it – don’t fight it!
And finally the Round
- Plump and rounded all over
- No definite waist
- Perhaps sloping shoulders
- Wide bottom
- Think Dawn French
There are some very simple rules to follow for this shape and so I won’t break it down into garments as such.
- Dark colours, as we all know they are more slimming – so always a good choice.
- Use the ‘column of colour’ trick. This is where you have the same colour running up through the middle of your outfit with a cardigan, or jacket of a different colour, over the top. The eye will notice the narrow 'column of colour' which will make you appear slimmer and draw the eye up towards the face. Perfect!
- Avoid really tiny patterns as they will, in contrast, make you look larger.
- Clothes need to skim not cling - but make sure you don’t go too voluminous.
- Empire line tops (and dresses) are very flattering
- A good fitting shift dress is also great on a Round.
- Ensure there’s some cleavage exposed – a sure-fire way to draw the attention away from a tummy!
- If you want to wear trousers, make sure they are flat fronted (no pleats) and that they fall straight from the thighs.
- Opt for A line or panelled skirts.
- Wear stunning necklaces and scarves to draw the eye towards the face.
- Make sure your accessories aren't too small, as again, they will make you appear larger.
So, there we go! Not an exhaustive list of do’s and don’t’s because I have focussed on rules that lend themselves to choosing a more formal outfit, but you should now be able to eliminate some choices and combinations that you may have chosen before - which I hope has helped.
I’ve created a Pinterest board that's well worth a look at as it will provide you with some inspiration or what those guys and gals over at Pinterest call, Pinspiration. Just click on the bottom on the picture!
TMI moment….when I was about 11 or 12, before I hit puberty, I was a scrawny little thing whose new, tight fit, pinstriped jeans (they were very trendy I’ll have you know) didn’t fit on the bum as tightly as I wanted them to. So, I came up with what I thought was a cunning plan to pad-out my derriere. What did I do? I wore 3 pairs of knickers at once. Underneath the jeans darlings, underneath!